Match Reports 2012 - January

Sunday 29 January 12

Views expressed in these reports are my personal ones and are not necessarily those of the rest of the league committee or D Cups. MoMs decided by the match official.

W@NKERS/MIGHTY FLEETWOOD/PINKSTERS ALL WIN AS LIMEYS GAME POSTPONED

PUSSAY PATROL GET FIRM GRIP ON DIV 2 TITLE

FFC UNDEFEATED RUN GOES ON......

Division 1 News
With the limeys out of action tonight after Frontiers called the game off, their three closest rivals looked to gain 3 points on the monotonously consistent champs in their own games and I shall start with the Spanish w@nkers who sit currently in 2nd spot.  Their opponents Four Friends and Brad got a much-needed win last week to get them off the foot of the table and went into tonight's game with confidence,  One thing's for sure there are always goals in their games as I said last week.  Although by their prolific standards in going forward and as yet their dedication to ensure the concession of at least 4 goals in every defeat this season in the league so far, this was a low-scoring affair.  Even in one of the double victories against Galacticos they conceded 5 goals. Tonight, with Brad performing well in goal and the rest of the team putting a shift in too, they produced a good work out for the w@nkers who conceded first actually through FFAB's top scorer Kermit.  It is a trait with these guys though as they always start well but fade towards the end a little and the team chasing a Europa League spot if not the title took advantage of that with three goals to win the game.  Craig Charles(2) and Sean Nolan scored taking the former back to the top of the golden boot with erstwhile leader Ashley Conlan out of action in the league this evening.  (MoM_Craig Charles)

Battered and bruised from their ordeal v The Irons last week, the mighty Fleetwood took on bottom club Galacticos for the 2nd time this season but this time without Leon Townley.  Brother-in-law Malcolm Brasted stepped in to fill Leon's boots for this one and despite an an early scare we took the lead after Ross had been brought down just outside the box.  As quick as Pienaar will jump back to Everton, yours truly had whipped the ball past the unsuspecting Rob Winslow in the Gs' net.  Soon after, Ross had helped himself to a couple and before the break Rob came out of his area and then picked the ball out of his net from my spot kick as we hit the break 4-0 to the good.  With the Finmeister shouting for a clean sheet Simon Bolt got one back for the yellows and Immy notched as well. Ross got a further two and I got one more too for my hat trick before the end so another Si effort and a spot kick from Andy Davis which was so nearly saved by Col in goal made for a 7-4 win for the mighty Fleetwood. I think the man of the match was awarded to me for my unselfishness during the game.  In that I was gracious enough to let everyone else do the work. (MoM_Colin Wright)

The pinksters haven't had their normal impeccable start to the season this time around and find themselves having to play catch up.  Two draws and a defeat have left them lagging a little but all is not lost halfway through the season for them.  Their opponents Bayside Tigers, after their initial defeat, have been on a bit of a roll since then defeating whoever was put in front of them.  Tonight was always going to be a tough game for them and despite a deflected Webby shot giving them the lead, once The Jash Man had levelled and Dave Hardy had given the pinksters the lead, there looked like only one winner.  Cain, Dave and Jash completed the scoring in their 5-1 win.  (MoM_James Ashman)

Finally The Irons, battered and bruised themselves from our game last week, took on Green Machines.  This lot should be higher in the table but for their two walkovers given to FFAB and Bayside Tigers as their only actual defeat came against FC Capulleo the other week and they have managed to draw against both the pinksters and the limeys.  But they find themselves in 5th spot with a little too much to do other than determine who else wins the title this season.  Conscious of the fact that Machines keeper Mickey Castle is no Andrew Stone and is unable to stretch his legs over his head and into the far corners of his goal, Adam Sontag expertly found the right spot for the first two goals.  To be fair to Mickey you just don't save those.  Steven Castle pulled one back for the Machines but Dickie Longley and then Paul Kinggett, who scored their equaliser against the mighty Fleetwood last week too, ensured The Irons have now Won 3 Drawn 3 and Lost 3.  Paul was keen to ask me, even though he did score one in the end, not to mention his misses in the report.  I'm not sure why I would talk about her in the match report anyway to be honest. (MoM_Adam Sontag)

Division 2 News

Game of the night should have been leaders Pussay Patrol against 2nd placed Disleksicks who with a win tonight could have narrowed the gap to 3 points and who could have gone top by winning their game in hand.  Pressure told maybe as the pretenders to the throne argued and hissed their way through this game in which they were always losing after Mike struck in the first half to give PP what would have to be described as well, an Earley lead.  Indeed Mike Earley proceeded to get a further two during the course of the night.  All the Dissies could manage was a solitary Ben Russell goal and they lost 3-1.  That could well tie up the title with a 9 point Pussay lead but opens up the runners up spot maybe for the chasing pack.  PP stopper Aaron Shiels played out of his skin, making the man of the match award not a foregone conclusion, so the Dissies couldn't have been doing much wrong.  (MoM_Mike Earley)

Of the chasing pack only Blast Coat were able to make any real headway moving to within a point of the Dissies with a win over a recently struggling Blue Bishops who this week couldn't even blame the lack of top scorer Luke Berry.  The angry young man that is Kevin Porter managed to give BC a 2-goal lead quicker than Clogger could eye up which player he would like to kick into the side netting of the hall.  When the trusty Mike Gagen had scored a third and Kevla had got his hat trick before the break it all looked grim for the Bishops.  Cries of "It's still 0-0" could be heard from the BC boys but soon enough further cries of "actually it's 4-2 now" were audible from the crowd as Luke notched with a couple of trademark left foot strikes early in the second period.  With the game teetering on the edge, it was a gleeful Kevin Porter who bashed the bishop with a breakaway goal to basically end the game at 5-2.  Although they have played a game more than the Dissies in 2nd spot, they have a real shout at promotion.  The trouble is i cant afford the reinforced shinpads and although I have my own natural upper padding, the extra calf and achilles protective wear may be beyond my means should they go up and I may have to retire.  (MoM_Kevin Porter)

Elite struggled to beat GS Heating last week and tonight they took on Fashion Flooring Centre at a bad time with their being on a 2-game winning run and all that.  This turned out to be a cracker of a match.  The team chasing promotion scored the first 2 goals through Tom Mercer and they could have been further ahead but for the agile Cliff Gibson in the FFC goal.  Remembering they had won their last 2 games though, FFC fought back before the break through Andy and Russ.  With skipper Brian Skeete waiting to come on at the break, it was a surprise to see him stay on the sidelines for the second half but all seemed ok when Chris scored a controversial goal to make it 3-2 as he slipped and tackled and the goal was given amid vehement claims of a slide tackle.  After the game FFC agreed that it was not a slide tackle which goes to show in the heat of the moment players will say anything.  Almost immediately after that Elite top marksman Timmy scored a 4th goal which may have put the game out of reach for the blues and ended their good run.  However, their heads didn't drop and Russ set up Ian Freeman for their 3rd goal and a neat one-two between Ian Freeman and Dave Orme saw the latter finish with a superb strike to level the game with very little time left on the clock and to ensure all 4 goals were spread out evenly amongst their outfield players.  So Elite slip up and perhaps missed Jamie Osbourne and Tom Newell at the back tonight as they slip below Blast Coat in the table.  (MoM_Cliff Gibson)

Finally Harvey's All Stars took on the aged GS Heating and as usual patience was the key during one of these games.  Yes if you wait long enough one of the oranges will keel over and you can dribble round him to score.  Adam O'Donnell has complained that their match reports are not very long.  Well if they scored all the chances they created the write ups might be a little bit longer to be honest.  Tonight, somehow the All Stars manage to fail to score from about 5 or 6 good opportunities, with skipper Adam to blame for one at least as he chose to welly ball straight at a charging John Speller in goal from the edge of the area instead of just passing to Rick Smith to his side who was unmarked and who could have tapped the ball into an empty net.  Amazingly they found themselves 1-0 down as Ray scored past Riley in the All Stars goal whose first touch of the ball almost was to pick the ball out of his net.  Maybe this stirred the whites on and Nathan bagged an equaliser before the break which was no more than they deserved.  In the second half GSH were worn down and eventually Rick set up Calvin Campbell for his first league goal of the season.  A few minutes later, a quick Cal free kick was fired in expertly by Nathan O'Donnell for the decisive 3rd goal and the All Stars hung on comfortably to win 3-1.  In fact they made substitute keeper John Woodham work a bit near the end who managed to keep the score down.  (MoM_Nathan O'Donnell)

Sunday 22 January 12

Views expressed in these reports are my personal ones and are not necessarily those of the rest of the league committee or D Cups. MoMs decided by the match official.

NEW GOLDEN BOOT LEADER CONLAN KEEPS LIMEYS TOP

SECONDS OUT ROUND 2 FLEETWOOD/IRONS BOUT

DISLEKSICKS/PUSSAYS/ELITE ALL WIN AS FASHION FLOORING EXTEND WINNING RUN TO TWO GAMES

Division 1 News
Game of the night was probably the mighty Fleetwood against The Irons.  Now last season, Adam Sontag received his marching orders from ref Mauler Mayhew for persistent fouling on our talisman Leon Townley, or Kanu as some of these youngsters wish to call him these days.  In fact the aforementioned hothead seemed to have the hump with me last season for allegedly trying to get him sent off when I questioned Mauler's decision to continue with his "one more Adam" approach.  This season I kept quiet but it was a bit like Groundhog Day to be honest.  Having finally got Mauler a watch with which to time games rather than his old-fashioned hit-and-miss approach of using the sun's position in the sky to determine when a game finishes, the time has come to club together to get him a calculator as after his usual "one more Adam" he let him commit at least another 3 fouls mainly on Leon but sometimes on brother Ross so he didn't feel left out.  I am sure he is good and old enough now not to get involved as much as he does. It was certainly a lively game with Mark Lester giving us the lead with his left foot having been set free down the left by Leon.  Soon after Brad Devonshire levelled with a tap-in but seconds after that, Leon had regained the lead for us as he prodded home from just outside the area.  Sontag then let rip from way out with a right foot shot which just clipped my knee as it sailed into the corner of Colin's net.  Seconds out for the second half.  More of the same really.  Ross gave us the lead for the 3rd time but before the end a Sontag shot was parried by Colin and Paul Kinggett was the first to react to put in the rebound for 3-3.  And this with a black eye after an accidental flailing arm caught him in the face earlier in the half.  End to end right to the death but no-one managed to score and we both had to settle for a 3-3 draw and a point apiece.  (MoM_Colin Finlay)

The limeys extended their lead at the top after their game with the Spanish w@nkers who played tonight again without the steady influence of Alvyn Charles.  It wasn't long before Ashley Conlan had opened the scoring, following up a Jimmy Ellice effort on goal just before.  He then went on to get a further two goals to what surely would be for the limeys an unassailable lead.  He was even able to set up Mauler for his 2nd league goal of the season.  The piece de resistance was the next goal when he was squeezing past a wall and a Capulleo defender, was fouled but came out with the ball so I allowed him to play on and from the narrowest of angles, he curled a right foot shot with the outside his foot into the far top corner of the net for the goal of the night. 5-0 at the break and although Mr Conlan was responsible for giving them that lead, he was also responsible for giving his opponents a step up into the game by inexplicably passing across his own goal straight to Sean Nolan, who despite Alvyn's opinion to the contrary, couldn't miss. Scott Robinson scuffed in a second and Mike Laronde curled in a 3rd.  However the game was killed off by Gino, who was set up by Jim for the limey's 6th and final goal in this 6-3 victory.  By virtue of Craig Charles failing to find the net tonight, Ash manages to sneak up to the top of the golden boot chart for the first time.  (MOM_Ashley Conlan)

In another end to end game, Four Friends and Brad took on Galacticos in the battle of the bottom two.  There are always a lot of goals in FFAB games and most, sadly for them, have been put past Brad.  Tonight, unlike last week, they weren't arguing with the ref so much and managed to keep it together.  Galacticos on the other hand were claiming all sorts of overheads and fouls instead of just getting on with the game.  If Andy Davis could first work on passing a pub he could then work on the ball. Immy gave the Gs the lead but Kermit soon levelled things and then little Jack buried the second with style after some good Wes Penny work down the left.  Kerm then got another two goals. and Adam set up Jon.  The way they concede goals I guess there's always a way back into the game and Immy and Si both scored 2 to get the score to 5-5 at one point.  It definitely could have gone either way but it was Kerm who got what looked like to be the winning goal but Wes made sure with their 7th to take them off the bottom and sink the yellows to the smelly end of the table themselves. (MoM_James Howard)

Bayside Tigers in the space of just a few weeks have gone from bottom to 5th in the table after another impressive performance.  This time it was against Green Machines who were still on a high after their well-earned point against title hopefuls Sawbo last week. Tony Gay gave them a 2-goal cushion and Alan Price extended their lead further after sprinting to divert a Derek throw-out into Mickey Castle's net. The game was all but over in the second half when Dan Siggers buried the rebound from another Tony Gay shot for 4-0. Perfectionist that he is, Tigers' stopper Derek Freeman was a bit miffed to lose his clean sheet near the end as William Castle got a mere consolation for the Machines.  (MoM_Tony Gay)

Division 2 News

Starting with the league leaders, the Pussays took on an Oddballs side who have taken a few by surprise this season and who were sitting in the top four before the game tonight.  For a while there in this match the Pussays were struggling to get going and things were not helped by an enforced change midway through the first half as Ashley had to come off having twisted his ankle.  But never fear as Gibbo The Masked Wonder strode into the hall on his trusty steed though and grabbed the game by the scruff of its neck and managed to find the back of the net twice in the leaders' eventual 3-0 win.  Mike Earley captured the other odd goal to keep the Pussays top of the league from the Disleksicks by 6 points.  Next week's game between the two could be crucial.  Should the leaders lose and the Lekkies win their game in hand, both would be level at the pinnacle but with the blues currently having the better goal difference.  I haven't seen the Disleksicks play with the same team for some time though to be honest and they will have to have their wits about them next Sunday to get a result.  (MoM_Gibbs)

The team in the current runners up position did manage another win themselves tonight in the first game of the night against Catalan, who themselves had a temporary new-look about them too. In fact the bottom team took the lead via a well-taken strike from Austin Lark.  Normal service was resumed after a while though as Ben Russell's run and shot resulted in the Disleksicks' equaliser.  D Cups would have been proud to see his son Anthony come out of his area in making a save, though very disappointed in his lack of protest about the said sliding out, as Andy Speed slotted home the resultant spot kick. In a hat trick of mishaps for the error-prone Catalan stopper tonight, he conceded a near post Elroy effort and a very long range Andy Speed shot as the blues took a 4-1 lead.  Ricky Collier got a 2nd Catalan goal and Austin got his second and the Giants' 3rd but a Liam Buckley throw freed Ben Russell to kill the game off and give the league challengers a 5-3 win.  (MoM_Ben Russell)

Elite leap-frogged back into 3rd spot after a hard-fought victory over the dinosaurs that are GS Heating whose collapse since the start of the season has been impressive.  As hard as they tried it was difficult for Elite to penetrate the orange, which wasn't meant to sound as perverted as it now has appeared.  Their saviour, not for the first time was Timmy Sosanya, who, when not bickering with Mauler the ref, found the net twice past an impressive John Speller in the GSH goal. His dad Graham suffered a 2nd half knock and had to switch places with his son for a while at the end and Ray Hill did manage to halve the deficit but Elite hung on for a vital 3 points.  With teams dropping out sometimes, 3rd place will often see a team get the promotion for which they have been striving all season.  (MoM_Timmy Sosanya)

For Elite to climb back into the top three, not only did Oddballs have to lose, as happened against the Pussays, but also the strident Blast Coat had to end their good run at the hands of recent basement dwellers Fashion Flooring Centre.  The latter, sadly for Blast Coat, were in a confident mood as they looked to extend their winning run of one game to two.  It has always been a mystery to me that FFC managed to go pointless for so long and tonight they played well enough to defeat BC who last suffered league defeat just after Guy Fawkes Night.  Andy Hutchinson and Ian Freeman (the latter's first and second of the season) scored a brace apiece although one of their goals could go down as an og for Terry Chapman who saved a shot and could only watch, or not actually, as the ball span back off the wall and straight back into his net.  Now you don't see that happen too often although the man with the pixelated shirt almost fumbled another backpass into his own net before scrambling it back off the line in the second half.  Kev and Ray scored for Blast Coat who slip down to 4th in the table.  (MoM_Ian Freeman)

Finally a Luke Berry-less Blue Bishops took on the frustratingly inconsistent Harvey's All Stars who I am sure if they put their minds to it, and Riley manages to get his gloves on before half time, could be up there challenging at least with Blast Coat and Elite for a promotion spot.  Tonight was as good for the All Stars as it was poor for the Bishops who just didn't get going and who had Jon Hutley to thank for not losing by a significantly higher amount.  As it was, Adam O'Donnell scored twice and could have scored about eight, Nathan and Lewis Woodhouse got the 4 goals for the All Stars who with a couple of wins in the games in hand could move into the top half.  (MoM_Jon Hutley)

Sunday 15 January 12

Views expressed in these reports are my personal ones and are not necessarily those of the rest of the league committee or D Cups. MoMs decided by the match official.

LIMEYS MARCH ON

PINKSTERS HELD

DISLEKSICKS NARROW GAP ON LEADERS AS ELITE DROP BELOW ODDBALLS AND BLAST COAT

Division 1 News
Starting at the summit, the limeys hold on to their 3 point lead with a comfortable win against the Simon Bolt-less Galacticos tonight.  With a late withdrawal by Jimmy Ellice who injured himself this morning, Scott Hayter, ex-Fleetwood star, stepped into the breach after attempts to draft in the sexy actress Rene Russo came to nothing.  Inevitably it was Ashley Conlan who opened the scoring after Gino's shot was parried by the ponytailed Rob Winslow in goal.  Gino again set up Ash as his tackle saw the ball fall to Ash who was clean through with just the keeper to beat.  Although the far post seemed quite open from my angle suggesting an outside of the right foot shot, the blond talisman effortlessly curled the ball around Rob into the near post in what was a very tight angle.  In fact from my position right behind him, there was no gap at all.  Mr Conlan then ran and shot into the corner for his hat trick.  Monotonously he also bagged the 4th.  In the second half, maybe the limeys could have scored a few more with the holey Galacticos defence but Scott set up Ash for his 5th before finally the 5-goal hero returned the favour for Scott to score his first goal in the league for a couple of years.  With only one paltry assist I was tempted not to award Ash with the coveted man of the match award but what the heck.  (MoM_Ashley Conlan)

The mighty Fleetwood suffered a blow last week when we were defeated by the bottom club, albeit new-look, Bayside Tigers.  So tonight we had to get back on track against Four Friends and Brad who seemed to have more of their regular side out tonight bar Kermit whose place was taken by cheeky Carl Gregory.  We had a blow late afternoon when our own talisman Leon Townley called in sick but the remaining 5 of our squad were fit and ready.  Well in my case just ready.  I never want to miss a FFAB game as I always seem to score against them.  It has become a ritual.  I seem to remember a hat trick against them last season. Whereas last week I felt good and up for the game, this week, my first half was shocking I thought.  My passing was poor and any shooting was worse. One attempt at dribbling round Wes Penny led directly to his tackling me and firing into the net for the opening goal.  Even a pass back to Col in goal wasn't quite making it far enough.  It would soon come to the point in the game that should Col have thrown the ball out to me towards the end of the first half, Mauler would have booked him for time-wasting.  Still, just 1 down at the break with all to play for.  Little Mark Lester, in his first game it seems since Christmas 2010, volleyed in from distance to level the game and that spurred us on.  Ross then scored and won a free kick on the edge of the box.  One of the many times Ross had fallen foul to some tackling despite their protests. As quick as Arsene Wenger can find a water bottle to throw to the floor, I sprinted, well I can dream, through to fire in Ross' free kick with my left foot into the corner much to the delight of my loyal fans on the touchline.  Ross then scored a 4th so at least we keep pace with the top two with this 4-1 win.  (MoM_Mark Lester)

In what as yet has not been a sparkling pinkster season, tonight Sawbo took on Green Machines who were fresh from an 8-0 limey annihilation last week. So 3 points beckoned but the Machines, as last week even when they were getting trounced, never gave up and in fact opened the scoring as The Jash Man lost possession on the halfway line and Glen Righelato gave the underdogs the lead.  Worse was to follow as Steven Castle doubled their advantage.  Defending has let the youngsters down before but usually, as against Four Friends to whom they also found themselves 2-0 down, they end up simply scoring more goals through the firepower of Dave Hardy, the strength of The Jash Man and the cockiness of The Nobster.  Although Nobby did pull one back for the pinks, Mickey Castle, still sporting his new-look hair style, managed to keep out any further first half efforts.  Dave Hardy came on for the second half but shot after shot was saved or missed.  I'm sure on a couple Mickey dived and was lying on the floor as the ball was fired into his torso.  Finally Dave did level things but with still 5 minutes left, the winning goal couldn't be found and certain players found themselves bemoaning every decision given against them.  Whether or not some borderline decisions went against them, they still had plenty of time to win the game and yet failed to do so but of course the ref got the blame. Fair play to skipper Mark Smith who was the only one from his team to shake my hand at the end.  The Nobster seems to be slipping back into his old ways sarcastically commenting on every award given their way.  There was one moment in the second half when I had to stop myself from sending him off.  That sort of behaviour doesn't help at all.  Mostly of course it doesn't help his own team getting wound up so much.  Two dropped points for the pinksters then.  (MoM_Mickey Castle)

Frontiers seem to be missing their top marksman Goughy with a mysterious leg injury at the moment as once more Alex Sharp deputised.  Their opponents were the new-look Tigers who themselves were missing Chris Webb their top scorer so Dean Richards was drafted in to play.  Frontiers' passing seemed a bit sloppy tonight and there seemed to be a lot of carping about my not awarding free kicks on a few occasions when the ball apparently was passed straight back to their keeper Derek Freeman.  On a couple of occasions though Del had saved the ball and it was subsequently passed back which is of course ok.  The Tigers' debutant Dean Richards managed to score all 6 goals tonight which is something I'm not sure even Goughy has done this season as yet.  So the Tigers climb off the bottom of the table for the first time. (MoM_Dean Richards)

For the second consecutive week, The Irons turned up which is promising.  Now at least they have a reliable keeper in Dave Clark.  The Spanish w@nkers were their opponents tonight and they were missing their brick Alvyn Charles, he who never puts a foot wrong. In his mind.   His son Craig opened the scoring  however and it was a while before Dickie Longley fired in a spectacular equaliser.  In the second half, a perfectly weighted free kick from Scott Robinson found Craig again to fire the ball past his mate Dave Clark in goal and the icing on the cake with 2-3 minutes to go was completed by Sean Nolan who put the ball in with his right foot. I know!  (MoM_Andrew Newman)

Division 2 News
With league leaders having a well-earned rest, their two closest rivals Disleksicks and Elite played each other.  Despite fielding a team of Disleksick reserves it seemed, the blues grabbed the game by the scruff of its neck and Liam Buckley(2), Dan Matthews(3) and Scott(1) got the 6 goals to crush Elite who managed only 3 goals themselves from Stuart(2) and Timmy(1).  So the Disleksicks move to within 6 points of the leaders Pussay Patrol and have a game in hand.  And they still have to play each other.  Two consecutive defeats for Elite have seen a couple of teams overtake them in the table.  (MoM_Dan Matthews)

And one of those two teams is Blast Coat who haven't lost a league game since 6 November when they faced the league leaders.  Everything is on the up for Blast Coat and surprisingly that doesn't include opponents in the air after a Clogger tackle these days.  Watching from the side this game against Harvey's All Stars looked a cracker with both keepers Terry Chapman and Lewis Riley pulling off amazing saves throughout the contest.  Most by BC stopper Terry who to my mind should have got man of the match but John awarded it to Kevin who got their 2nd goal.  I wouldn't like to say it was against the run of play as both teams were playing well. Ray Goodie had opened the scoring for BC so in an end to end game, the All Stars came off the pitch wondering how they had lost 2-0.  We all know how. Terry Chapman, that's how.  (MoM_Kevin Porter)

The other team to climb above Elite in the table are Oddballs who defeated bottom club Catalan Giants comfortably tonight 5-2.  Gandalf and Austin scored for the Giants and Dominic(3) and Ryan(2) got the Oddballs goals in their 5-2 victory.  (MoM_Dominic Green)

Finally, GS Heating and Blue Bishops played each other.  The old 'uns made a good start to the season but their weary legs are beginning to buckle and they haven't won a game since 18 September when surprisingly they crushed Blast Coat 5-0 obviously before the latter's new kit had been designed.  Top league scorer Luke Berry helped himself to a hat trick after John Speller finally let one in following a string of first class stops and it was nice to see Jamie Cleary get his first goal of the season ensuring he, like Ryan Giggs, has scored in every season over the last 15 years.  And I mean scoring goals.  Allegedly. (MoM_Luke Berry)

Sunday 8 January 12

Views expressed in these reports are my personal ones and are not necessarily those of the rest of the league committee or D Cups. MoMs decided by the match official.

MIGHTY FLEETWOOD LOSE GROUND ON RIVALS

PUSSAYS HOLD OFF ELITE

FASHION FLOORING CENTRE GAIN 1ST LEAGUE WIN

Division 1 News
The limeys started the year off by teaching a football lesson to Green Machines, being six to the good by half time.  They are looking ominously good at the moment and are going to take some beating this season again no doubt in the title race.  Ashley Conlan scored the first of his three tonight to open the scoring after his mis-placed pass rebounded back to his own feet.  His second two again he made himself, the last of which was probably the pick of the bunch as he strode through about 8 tackles at breakneck speed and still found the corner of the new-look surfer dude Mickey Castle's net.  I miss the mullet.  The remaining 5 limey goals were all scored by Jimmy Ellice who collected a number of nicely weighted through passes from Gino, Ash and Ash again in the first half.  In the second period the Machines never gave up but succumbed to a further 2 Ellice strikes set up by Mauler and Gino at the end. They remain 3 points ahead of their nearest rivals now but 6 points ahead of the mighty Fleetwood who aren't worried as they still have to play them twice! (MoM_Jimmy Ellice)

The mighty Fleetwood had the chance to stay within touching distance of the leaders tonight when they took on bottom club Bayside Tigers.  But this is no Bayside Tigers of old as Dave Clark has moved on to The Irons and that other 60s pop stalwart Alan Price has taken over the reins at Tiger Park for the remainder of the season.  Unfortunately we are all up against the standard of The Beatles at the top of the league but there you go.  We may have had an off night but full credit to the new-look Tigers who look over the coming weeks to be able to compete favourably with a number of teams I would guess.  It certainly helped them that keeper Derek Freeman played out of his skin although time will tell if he performs like that every week.  The game, but for their stopper Derek, could have been all but over by half time but we found ourselves 2-1 down.  A further two goals in the second half ensuring Alan and Chris both got a brace gave us an uphill battle with just Leon scoring in the first half.  I felt right up for this game before it had started and was certain I would score.  As it turned out I did but with only 30 seconds to go it was not really even a consolation and Leon did all the work anyway setting me up for the final kick of the game. We won't mention the 2 or 3 penalties we could have or the blatant foul on Malc before the killer 4th goal went in.  Hey ho!  (MoM_Derek Freeman)

The Spanish w@nkers looked to capitalise on our misfortunes by defeating Frontiers who took to the hall minus leading goal scorer Goughy tonight.  Things started ok for Frontiers and it was a fairly even game until their keeper slid out of his area by about 2 feet as a result of which I awarded Capulleo a spot kick much to Eelesey's frustration as he claimed Craig Charles had encroached immediately before but clearly if he did I didn't see it.  Sean Nolan scored from the spot and soon after Alvyn and Craig had extended their lead further.  Eelesey scored from an indirect free kick but a further goal apiece for each of the same w@nkers saw them through although Dan did get one back near the end for Frontiers who could only rue the superlative performance of Binner in the opposite goal.  (MoM_Andrew Newman)

The pinksters too could keep apace with the top two tonight if they beat Four Friends and Brad, although with regulars Jon, Wes and Adam all missing it was more like one friend and Brad.  Despite a patched up side, the team in black leapt into a two-goal lead through Jack and James Howard.  Although Mark and The Nobster levelled things, "Bite Yer Ankles" Jack regained the lead with a good finish.  From then on, it was pretty much one way pink traffic with Nobby getting another 5 goals and Dave a couple to make the final score 9-4.  Nader Benzid managed a FFAB consolation.  (MoM_Nobby Welch)

Finally, The Irons, complete with new regular keeper Dave Clark, managed to actually turn up for a game and it makes a big difference to your table position in the end I always think.  Although Andy Davis scored through a heap of players to give Galacticos the lead, that was the only bright spark in their evening as The Irons took control through Adam(2), Brad(1) and Dickie(3).  With a game in hand over teams around them, this result takes them over FFAB and Galacticos in the table.  (MoM_Adam Sontag)

Division 2 News
Blast Coat leap up to 4th in the table tonight just a point behind the promotion places.  Now you don't hear that very often I must say but they have got a consistent team now with a reliable stopper in goal, a rabid dog who can score with his left foot from anywhere, an organiser who scores worldys,  and rarely gives the ball away, a little boy lost who wonders why Clare's not printed on his shirt any more but who can put his foot in where required and..........Clogger.  Well it can't be all good I guess. Already the recipients of 3 points courtesy of an unusual Catalan no-show, they still had to play Oddballs, who themselves also had got a walkover v GSH.  Within a second, Kevla had fired in their first goal from the kick off and Mick Gagen scored one of his trademark blasts with the outside of his foot into the opposite corner of the net.  There was no way back for Oddballs who made things worse in the second half through Mike Ross' s misplaced pass straight to Gagen who didn't mess around to give them their 2nd 3-0 victory of the night.  This new kit seems to be working well so far then.  (MoM_Mike Gagen)

On paper the game of the day was leaders Pussay Patrol against Elite FC and it didn't disappoint.  With Aaron Shiels recovering from his hernia op, Jake Mansfield took over in goal for the Pussays for whom Gibbo The Masked Man took his disguise a stage further tonight by donning spectacles.  I look forward to the fake moustache next week.  Mike Earley scored their opener at the near post and Owen got their 2nd, seconds after their own keeper had expertly thwarted an Eiite attack at the other end. The 3rd goal was always going to be vital in this contest and it went to Elite as Jamie Osbourne fired in with his right foot.  He never seems to get a tap in.  Brian Skeete almost immediately jinked his way through the PP defence to get his team level.  Sadly for them though a little while after that, some accidental encroachment into the Elite penalty area saw the award of a penalty which Sam Deards buried to give the league leaders a 3-2 victory.  (MoM_Jake Mansfield)

The Disleksicks are still in hot pursuit of the leaders though and their hard fought 3-2 victory of their own against Blue Bishops takes them back into 2nd spot.  One of the goals of the night opened the scoring tonight as Jamie Cleary sped down the right and back heeled it perfectly into the path of a sprinting Luke Berry to score for the Bishops.  Jimmy Ellice tried something similar in the limey game later on but Ashley Conlan skied his shot! Ben levelled things for the Disleksicks and also scored a second later on following Dan Matthews' strike.  With the score-line at 3-1, Luke Berry pulled one back for the Bishops but it wasn't enough.  (MoM_Ben Russell)

Fashion Flooring Centre finally put an end to the ridiculous stat that they haven't won a league game since the first moon landing tonight as an under-par Harvey's All Stars conceded 6 goals and scored just one in return from Nathan O'Donnell.  The FFC heroes were Andy(3), Russell(2) and a little dink from brother Dave.  (MoM_Andy Hutchinson)